


Your Clementine Chemical Liquid

by ArcticAardvark



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Advice, Bisexual Jake Peralta, Bisexual Rosa Diaz, Bisexuality, Coming Out, Episode Tag: s05e12 Safe House, Late Night Conversations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-05
Updated: 2020-06-05
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:27:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24559162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArcticAardvark/pseuds/ArcticAardvark
Summary: Stuck in the safe house a few months after helping Rosa come out as bisexual, Jake turns to one of his gay dads for advice on something that's been bothering him.
Relationships: Jake Peralta & Amy Santiago, Jake Peralta/Amy Santiago, Kevin Cozner & Jake Peralta
Comments: 13
Kudos: 273





	Your Clementine Chemical Liquid

**Author's Note:**

> Thought I would write a little something in the honor of Pride Month. Happy pride to all my LGBT fellows and kudos to our wonderful allies! 
> 
> Essentially Jake stuck at the safe house with Kevin (S5 E12) and processing his feelings about Rosa coming out as bi (S5 E10) and why he felt so emotionally invested in the process. There are quite a few variations of Bi Jake, but I thought him turning to one of his gay dads for questioning advice might be an interesting new angle to explore especially since it fits so well within the timeline.
> 
> If anyone has any recs for Pride Month fics I'd be happy to write them <3 (down to write a variety of things though, doesn't have to be limited to pride)

They were running out of Nick Cage movies.

Sure, there was always “Leaving Las Vegas, a Dark Ponderous Reflection on Alcoholism,” but Kevin wouldn’t want to watch that snooze fest. Besides, even though Jake would rather eat a can of expired tuna fish than admit it, his mind couldn’t focus on all the Nick Cage movies either.

All this time stuck inside a safe house had given Jake a little too much time alone with his thoughts, and he couldn’t stop thinking about Rosa. Well, not Rosa, persay. He couldn’t stop thinking about Rosa coming out as bisexual. Jake was caught off guard by how personal the whole ordeal had felt and wasn’t really sure what to do with whatever this nagging feeling was. He wasn’t embarrassed or anything like that, just wishing Amy could be here with him, sitting crisscrossed beside him on the floor with stacks of encyclopedias at her side helping pinpoint whatever was bothering him. He wasn’t much of an internal thinker, he needed to talk things out loud with people.

“So… how did you know you were gay?” Jake let the words fly out his mouth before giving much thought to how he was going to formulate them into a societally appropriate thing to ask. Anyhow it was too late now, Kevin had definitely heard him in full capacity judging from the twitch going through his body. Seriously, the man had impeccable hearing. Ok, no. Focus. Nagging feeling, bad question, repercussions, cool cool cool cool cool

Kevin raised an eyebrow—or at least Jake assumed he did, given that the last Nick Cage movie had left him lying face down on the floor—but to Jake’s surprise he actually seemed to be deep in thought. This was a good eyebrow raise. “Well, I guess I just knew. I didn’t find it written on the back of the Declaration of Independence or something like that.”

“Yeah, that makes sense,” Jake sighs, looking absently into the array of air bubbles rising from the Orange Soda he was just a centimeter away from accidentally elbowing across the entire floor moments ago. He wasn’t positive about the “centimeter” part of that statement but Kevin permitted solely metric units of measurement so Jake was just guesstimating. Centimeter sounded like it fit there. He cursed himself for not being able to guesstimate pesky nagging feelings with the same success. He shouldn’t be bothering Kevin with his own problems. 

“Peralta, what’s bothering you? You never pause for more than an average of 3.5 seconds before consuming your clementine chemical liquid. And yes, I can _hear_ you swallowing from all the way here.”

“Title of your sex tape, ha ha ha. Ha ha. I’m funny, that was a totally normal sentence to say,” Jake blabbers, bringing his gaze back down to the orange soda. He could swear it was bubbling more than before, judging him.

This was usually the time when Kevin would huff and scuffle away on all fours to the kitchen, but instead he shifted his arms under his body, softly resting his head on them as a cushion. He was staying.

“Is there something you wanted to talk about, Jake?”

Stalling, Jake chugged the orange soda as quietly as he could. Those stupid bubbles would never see the light of day again. Wiping his mouth on his already suspiciously dirty sleeve and sitting up a little straighter against the side of the couch, Jake admitted, “yeah.”

His word was met with silence, Kevin continuing to lie facedown in wait on the carpet. In a strange way, Jake was grateful for the lack of eye contact. His skin seethed with the burn of vulnerability, and he knew he wouldn’t be able to maintain a mature conversation about emotions face-to-face. This was strangely soothing.

“It’s just something that happened last week. Rosa coming out. I’m sure you know about all that. I was with her for a lot of it and gave a demo coming out speech she could use on her parents and it just felt so relieving. I didn’t really think about it much until we got isolated here but now I’m like damn, did I really manage to miss something this big about myself?”

“Go on.”

“Well Rosa said she found out she was bi in 7th grade watching Saved by the Bell and I don’t know, I mean I always thought Kelly Kapowski was so hot. Like so so hot. But I didn’t exactly hold back gushing about Zack Morris either. I thought that was just… normal. It never occurred to me that having a crush on a guy was like having _having_ a crush on a guy. I always thought you could just have a crush on everyone. ”

It was here that Kevin finally pushed himself up, positioning himself to face Jake across the graveyard of scattered Nicholas Cage DVDs. “You can, Jake. That’s absolutely normal. It’s just not straight.”

Jake didn’t have much of a response to that. Everything felt so awkward and off balance, but weirdly comforting.

“I just...why did Rosa figure it out so young and I didn’t?”

“As much as it hurts me to utter such words as a professor and accredited scholar of the English language, you can not analyze your way into knowing your sexuality. It’s too personal and buried too deep within to manifest the same for everyone,” Kevin pointed out, wrinkling his nose at his inability to provide a clear cut formula to obtain the answer. “It’s a lot more complicated than I want to admit. If I am being entirely candid, the question of identity is and always has been quite the mess, it’s not just you.”

“Very reassuring, Professor.”

“Just remember that you don’t need to prove anything to anyone. The age at which you figure out your identity does not impact its validity.”

“So the takeaway from this conversation is that I’m hella old but it’s not a problem and that I’m a mess but we’re all a mess so it’s okay?”

“There may be one more big one that you’re forgetting,” Kevin prompts, bringing back the one eyebrow lift for real this time.

“Yeah, I suppose I should say it, I guess. Uh, yeah, here I uh, go. Hi, my name is Jake and I am b—

“Ok nevermind that sounds like I’m at an alcoholics anonymous meeting or something.”

Kevin peacefully spectates, giving him time.

“I’m bisexual.” Jake pauses for a moment, a wide grin finding its way back to his lips, “the cool thing is, I’m actually really excited to get back home and tell Amy.”


End file.
